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My life is 24/7 bad.
I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son.
I've been to marriage counseling...
I've done things I never thought I would have to do.
I've lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie.
- Did the candles help? - Hell, no.
All right. I don't love her the way she needs to be loved...
and I don't even see a future for us, but then I look at my little boy...
sitting at the table across from me, and I think I would suffer any torture
to be with him for all the minutes of his life.
You know, I don't want to miss out on one.
But then, there... there's no joy or laughter in my home.
And I don't want him growing up in that.
No laughter? That's terrible.
My parents have been together for 35 years...
and even when they had a bad fight they end up laughing like crazy.
I don't want to be one of those people getting divorced at 52...
falling down into tears, admitting that they never really loved their spouse
and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.
You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life...
she deserves that.
But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility...
you know, all these, these ideas of how people are supposed to live.
But then I... I have these dreams...
What dreams?
I have these dreams, you know, that...
I'm standing on a platform...
and you keep going by on a train...
and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, you go by.
And I wake up with the fucking sweats.
And then I have this other dream...
where you're pregnant in bed beside me naked...
and I want so badly to touch you
but you tell me not to and then you look away.
I touch you anyway...
right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft that I wake up in sobs.
And my wife is sitting there looking at me,
and I feel like I'm a million miles from her.
And I know that there's something wrong...
that I can't keep living like this...
that there's gotta be something more to love than commitment.
But then I think that I might have given up...
on the whole idea of romantic love.
That I... I might have put it to bed that...
That day when you weren't there.
You know, I think I might have done...
years - лет
wrong - неправильно
would - бы
whole - все
where - где
torture - пытки
together - вместе
thought - думал
think - думать
there - там
table - таблица
spouse - супруг
something - что нибудь
touch - потрогать
sitting - сидящий
romantic - романтик
really - действительно
things - вещи
suffer - страдать
people - люди
getting - получение
sucked - высосанный
future - будущее
dream - мечта
books - книги
fucking - чертов
candles - свечи
commitment - обязательство
terrible - ужасный
platform - платформа
divorced - разведенный
deserves - заслуживает
falling - падение
sweats - потеет
crazy - псих
loved - любимый
beside - рядом
tears - слезы
looking - ищу
right - правильно
minutes - минут
anyway - так или иначе
pretense - притворство
badly - плохо
supposed - предполагаемый
admitting - допускающий
counseling - консультирование
naked - обнаженный
vacuum - вакуум
ankle - лодыжка
across - через
fight - борьба
dreams - мечты
little - немного
given - данный
marriage - брак, создание семьи
going - собирается
train - поезд
these - эти
gotta - должен
cleaner - очиститель
other - другие
great - великий
happiness - счастье
might - мог бы
ideas - идеи
needs - потребности
laughing - смеющийся
responsibility - обязанность
bought - купил
laughter - смех
those - те
their - их
lingerie - дамское белье
parents - родители
living - живой
standing - постоянный
pregnant - беременная
miles - миль
growing - рост
million - миллиона
never - никогда
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