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Ooh, listen to this.
I got in a wreck because I was admiring
the shoulder hickey that Brett gave me
and got t-boned by a parked car.
Brett came over to comfort me
and I'm so obsessed with him.
His face smells like Sea Breeze
and his hair is so long
that when I make out with him
I pretend it's a scarf.
P.S. I might be pregnant.
- That shit is juicy. Read yours.
- Okay.
I changed the grit on
my rock tumbler today.
The amethyst is really shaping up.
I'm gonna mount it in
a bolo tie for Dylan.
He got a new neck brace to
stretch his melting vertebrae.
He loved his birthday card.
Especially how I burnt
the edges of the scroll.
P.S. Crafting heals.
Last night at the party, I danced
so hard my bra was soaking wet.
Jeff and I were
flirting, and then he said
Let me show you something.
So we went to my room,
and guess what he showed me?
A ween that is still wearing its hat.
Mmm. Your turn.
Wow. How many times did
you have sex in this house?
You should have had sex here.
Having sex in your childhood
bedroom is a rite of passage.
You chose the party mom role
to protect yourself from fun.
No! I was not afraid of fun.
Here, check this out.
Happy birthday to me.
My party was amazing.
I got what I asked for.
I am now a sponsor of a child in Ecuador.
I was the designated driver
because I could tell no one
else wanted to be.
My favorite birthday gift was
knowing everyone got home safe.
Last night was so fun I
can't even talk about it.
There are no, period, words, period.
Man, I couldn't even talk about it!
I took my deaf friend
to the Sheila E. concert
so she could really feel the music.
She was so grateful.
I didn't smoke pot because I was
afraid there wasn't enough for everyone.
Oh, come on.
I miss those goddamn glory days.
Well, clearly, we had
different experiences.
Oh, here's a play-by-play
of a Jerry Lewis telethon.
Here's a chart of all
the penises I ever saw.
Oh, good. Here's a quote from Helen Keller.
Here's really incorrect information
about how to put a IUD in.
Here's a list of my houseplants.
- Put it in my butt.
- Ew.
yourself - сам
wreck - развалина
words - слова
vertebrae - позвонки
breeze - ветер
happy - счастливый
protect - защищать
guess - угадай
jerry - Джерри
especially - особенно
burnt - сожжен
favorite - любимый
smells - запахи
edges - края
designated - назначенный
gonna - собирается
experiences - опыт
wanted - разыскивается
crafting - Крафт
could - мог
birthday - день рождения
wearing - носить
because - потому как
pretend - делать вид
brett - Бретт
admiring - восхищенный
amethyst - аметист
scarf - шарф
concert - концерт
lewis - Льюис
obsessed - одержимый
about - около
information - информация
enough - достаточно
boned - очищенный от костей
showed - показал
hickey - штуковина
amazing - удивительно
brace - распорка
clearly - явно
goddamn - проклятие
everyone - все
different - другой
times - раз
telethon - телемарафон
asked - спросил
yours - ваш
bedroom - спальня
chose - выбрал
child - ребенок
grateful - благодарный
check - проверить
afraid - боюсь
danced - танцевал
flirting - заигрывание
ecuador - Эквадор
comfort - комфорт
music - музыка
should - должен
heals - заживает
house - дом
night - ночь
sheila - Шейла
incorrect - некорректный
juicy - сочный
keller - Келлер
knowing - знание
listen - слушать
having - имеющий
dylan - Дилан
houseplants - комнатные растения
loved - любимый
driver - [object Object]
might - мог бы
chart - диаграмма
mount - крепление
really - действительно
helen - Хелен
smoke - дым
party - вечеринка
penises - пенисы
passage - прохождение
melting - плавление
period - период
pregnant - беременная
glory - слава
quote - котировка
scroll - свиток
changed - изменено
those - те
shaping - формирование
stretch - протяжение
shoulder - плечо
today - cегодня
friend - друг
soaking - намокание
childhood - детство
parked - припарковал
something - что нибудь
sponsor - спонсор
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