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He was a sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan
And he said that he'd never, never, never, never do it again
Not until the next time
He was a sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan
And he swore that he'd never, never, never, never, never do it again
And of course he won't
Poor old man
He had an accident with a three-bar fire
But that's ok
Because he wasn't very happy anyway
Poor woman
Strangled in her very own bed as she read
But that's ok
'Cause she was old and she would have died anyway