He was a sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan

And he said that he'd never, never, never, never do it again

Not until the next time

He was a sweet and tender hooligan, hooligan

And he swore that he'd never, never, never, never, never do it again

And of course he won't

Poor old man

He had an accident with a three-bar fire

But that's ok

Because he wasn't very happy anyway

Poor woman

Strangled in her very own bed as she read

But that's ok

'Cause she was old and she would have died anyway


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