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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - What the F*** is the Internet?
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I wish I'd held on to a little piece
of that thing because...
if the buzz is any indicated, that movie's
gonna make some huge bank.
What buzz?
The internet buzz.
What the fuck is the internet?
The internet is a communications
tool used the world over...
where people can come together
to bitch about movies...
and share pornography.
Here's what we are looking for a
Movie Poop Shoot-dot-com.
Poop shoot, yeah.
This is a site populated
by militant movie buffs.
Sad, pathetic little bastards living
in their parents' basement...
downloading scripts and what
they think is inside information...
about movies and actors
they claim to despise yet...
can't stop discussing.
Okay, this is about Bluntman & Chronic.
"Inside sources tell me Miramax is
starting production this Friday..."
"on their adaptation of underground
comic fav Bluntman & Chronic."
Friday? Shit.
Does it say who's fucking playing us
in the movie?
No, but it's Miramax,
so I'm sure
it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
You know, they put them
in a bunch of movies.
Those kids from "Good Will Hunting".
You mean that fucking movie
with Mork from Ork in it?
Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either.
But Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".
Word, bitch.
"Phantoms" like a motherfucker!
So here we go.
Now, this is the shoot back section.
This is where people who read the
news get to chime in with their two cents.
opining on what he thinks about
Bluntman & Chronic.
He says...
"Bluntman & Chronic and their stupid
alter egos Jay & Silent Bob...
"only work in small doses, if at all."
"They don't deserve their own movie."
He's got a point.
Fuck him. What's the next one say?
This is entitled
"Fuck Them Up Their Stupid Asses".
"Bluntman & Chronic is the
worst comic I ever read."
"Jay & Silent Bob
are stupid characters."
"A couple of stoners who spout
dumb ass catch phrases..."
"like a third rate Cheech & Chong,
or Bill & Ted."
"Fuck Jay & Silent Bob!
Fuck them up their stupid asses!"
Who the fuck said that shit?
"Jay & Silent Bob are one-note jokes
that only stoners laugh at."
"They are fucking clown shoes."
"If they were real I'd beat the shit
out of them for being so stupid."
"I will be boycotting this movie.
Who is with me?"
Then there's like fifty more posts
of people...
I'm gonna kill all these fucks.
worst
where
underground
these
stupid
sources
stoners
shoot
section
production
together
populated
playing
people
pathetic
silent
movies
world
movie
motherfucker
miramax
militant
looking
living
little
alter
catch
bunch
phrases
downloading
communications
affleck
boycotting
comic
point
buffs
bluntman
internet
cents
adaptation
characters
chong
scripts
actors
indicated
bastards
doses
information
about
chime
thing
spout
being
posts
pornography
bitch
asses
basement
phantoms
because
think
claim
thinks
shoes
entitled
third
cheech
chronic
discussing
damon
deserve
despise
starting
piece
laugh
inside
either
share
fifty
clown
friday
fucking
small
fucks
couple
gonna
those
their
hunting
jokes
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