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Well, if you really wanna be popular
consider two little words, "sex" "tape."
Lois, you don't need these ax wounds.
If I can dress like them, so can you.
It's a gift from some drug dealer who went missing.
Just because you dress like us,
doesn't mean that you can be like one of us.
It doesn't matter what costume I wear, yours or mine,
I'm a superhero. That's who I am.
Okay, Captain Muffin-Muncher,
have fun playing make-believe.
This? This is all make-believe, Brooke.
The reality is you're an evil bitch
who's just as bad as the worst criminal scum.
You wanna get real, Mindy? In the real world, I win.
I go to an awesome college, I marry a hot guy
and I make adorable babies
for my nanny to take care of while we vacay in Paris.
My life is gonna rock and yours is gonna suck.
And no matter how slutty you dress,
no boy is ever gonna wanna kiss that hole you call a mouth.
So why don't you spare us all the whining and slit your wrists now?
'Cause the only thing that's gonna ruin my day
is looking at your face one more second.
- Told her. - Damn.
What's that? A ghetto cell phone?
Gonna call for help with a come-back?
Actually, my daddy bought this from a disgruntled DARPA employee.
You see, it was designed for crowd control, but deemed too severe.
It emits a pulse that creates spontaneous nausea and diarrhea.
He called it "the sick stick."
Well, either your daddy got ripped off,
or you're back in make-believe land, sweetheart,
because we feel fabulous.
Not for long.
Oh, my God!
- You get away from me. - Please, you win.
I don't wanna win. I just want to make the world a better place.
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brooke
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employee
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phone
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