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the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim
made in this, uh, burn book.
That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls
Who make up rumors because they're bored
With their own lame lives.
Well, unless someone wants to come forward
And say, "I made it all up," This is how we have to handle it.
To say that someone...
Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever.
Mr. Duvall. I wrote it.
Come on, Cady.
When you get bit by a snake,
You're supposed to suck the poison out.
That's what I had to do.
Suck all the poison out of my life.
I started with Regina,
Who was living proof That the more people are scared of you,
The more flowers you get.
Then there was ms. Norbury,
Who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished.
Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
I'm just done with my quiz.
Wait. I'll grade it right now.
I gotta say, watching the police search my house
Really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year.
How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth?
A lot.
Well, you didn't write that whole book yourself.
Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it?
No, because I'm trying this new thing
Where I don't talk about people behind their backs.
That's all right.
Getting hit by a bus is pretty good punishment.
Ninety-four.
- Welcome back, nerd. - Thanks.
Anyway... I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
But as my own personal form of punishment,
I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit.
What's up?
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