Ejercicios
Comedy
My Man Is a Loser

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My Man Is a Loser - The Fix (Es)

Escena de la película Mi hombre es un perdedor

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Categoría: Comedy

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Guys, I heard all about what's going on.

We are gonna work this out.

You know, I, I've yet to meet anyone who ignores customers more than this one.

We are all on the same team here.

If you need me, I'll be three feet away.

- Thank you. - All right, give it to me.

- Give it to me. What have you got? - It's not good.

I don't feel good. My panic attacks are coming back.

I'm starting to taste metal, and I have a sebaceous cyst

growing in the back of my head.

And my wife is threatening to fuck every pool boy we ever hired.

Lianne is not going to fuck the pool boy.

Have you seen my guy? He basically said "Fuck shirts."

He is a good-looking, muscular guy.

He looks like one of those Telemundo soap stars.

I don't know why you hire guys like that.

I'm not saying that...

What are the top complaints from your wives?

Top five or top 10?

What does she not like? What does she say?

Like me. She doesn't like me.

She says I smell like mushrooms sometimes.

All right, guys, I know I fucked up, but I'm gonna make this right. Okay?

I got the fix. You listening?

- Yeah. - Here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take things I've learned in my single life

and help you apply them to your married life.

Yeah, but how long is something like this gonna take?

I don't know, a week?

No, no, Lianne's gonna be married to Jose Jr. by then.

She's gonna have a whole Mexican family with little kids wearing sombreros,

doing the cha-cha-cha, eating guacamole dip.

- Marty! - What?

How are you going to take what you learned in your single life

and have us apply it to our married life?

You have sex with beautiful strangers, and...

we make waffles at 7:00 a.m.

Because everything I say, everything I do when it comes to women

is about connection. You understand?

You, my boys, have lost your ability to connect with your wives.

You're right, you know, I can't even connect the cable!

I hate my life.

You won't hate yourself after I'm done with you

because I'm gonna bring back everything you lost.

- What, like my manhood? - No!

Like, like being spontaneous.

Remember how spontaneous you guys used to be?

You'd do special things for your wife,

you'd show up at her work, you'd give her little special calls,

- you'd leave little notes. - Shock and awe?

Shock and awe!

- Surprise them? - Exactly. Surprise them with something.

- Caress your woman, caress your woman! - Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm practicing my caress. Don't be a baby about it.

Admire your wives. All right?

I don't mean just admire them with your eyes,

admire them with, with, with everything, with your energy,

your ability to listen to them.

You know how much a girl gets turned on if you're really listening to her?

You gotta be part of your wife's life, you know?

You gotta be there. You have to... You know, to put it very simply,

you have to just show up.

Show up? Show up where? Where we going, the Copacabana? Where are we going?

- Wherever she is. - No.

No, Lianne is like a cracked-out humming bird.

It's exhausting just thinking about this.

Remember how funny you used to be?

Like that. That sense of humor? Bring that into your relationship, man.

Women love a guy with a sense of humor.

Funny gets you laid.

yourself - tú mismo

women - mujer

wives - esposas

whole - todo

wherever - donde quiera

learned - aprendido

ignores - ignora

complaints - quejas

humming - zumbador

everything - todo

every - jeder

coming - viniendo

eating - comiendo

guacamole - guacamole

gonna - va a

going - yendo

bring - traer

exactly - exactamente

sebaceous - sebáceo

calls - llamadas

lianne - lianne

leave - salir

spontaneous - espontáneo

listening - escuchando

understand - entender

growing - creciente

because - porque

wearing - vistiendo

anyone - nadie

apply - aplicar

single - soltero

those - aquellos

three - tres

basically - básicamente

attacks - ataques

connection - conexión

little - pequeño

ability - capacidad

really - de verdad

married - casado

admire - admirar

stars - estrellas

heard - oído

panic - pánico

after - después

funny - gracioso

gotta - tengo que

humor - humor

listen - escucha

exhausting - agotador

cable - cable

notes - notas

about - acerca de

energy - energía

metal - metal

beautiful - hermosa

marty - mártir

cracked - agrietado

comes - proviene

there - ahí

copacabana - copacabana

family - familia

connect - conectar

looking - mirando

woman - Mujer

saying - diciendo

looks - mira

manhood - virilidad

hired - contratado

mushrooms - hongos

mexican - mexicano

muscular - muscular

things - cosas

customers - clientes

practicing - practicando

sometimes - a veces

remember - recuerda

right - derecho

caress - caricia

sense - sentido

where - dónde

shock - choque

simply - simplemente

smell - oler

relationship - relación

sombreros - сомбреро

shirts - camisetas

being - siendo

something - alguna cosa

starting - comenzando

fucked - jodido

special - especial

strangers - extraños

surprise - sorpresa

taste - gusto

telemundo - Telemundo

doing - obra

thank - gracias

thinking - pensando

threatening - amenazante

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