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I wish I'd held on to a little piece of that thing because...
if the buzz is any indicated, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
What buzz?
The internet buzz.
What the fuck is the internet?
The internet is a communications tool used the world over...
where people can come together to bitch about movies...
and share pornography.
Here's what we are looking for a Movie Poop Shoot-dot-com.
Poop shoot, yeah.
This is a site populated by militant movie buffs.
Sad, pathetic little bastards living in their parents' basement...
downloading scripts and what they think is inside information...
about movies and actors they claim to despise yet...
can't stop discussing.
Okay, this is about Bluntman & Chronic.
"Inside sources tell me Miramax is starting production this Friday..."
"on their adaptation of underground comic fav Bluntman & Chronic."
Friday? Shit.
Does it say who's fucking playing us in the movie?
No, but it's Miramax,
so I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
You know, they put them in a bunch of movies.
Those kids from "Good Will Hunting".
You mean that fucking movie with Mork from Ork in it?
Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either.
But Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".
Word, bitch. "Phantoms" like a motherfucker!
So here we go.
Now, this is the shoot back section.
This is where people who read the news get to chime in with their two cents.
opining on what he thinks about Bluntman & Chronic.
He says...
"Bluntman & Chronic and their stupid alter egos Jay & Silent Bob...
"only work in small doses, if at all."
"They don't deserve their own movie."
He's got a point.
Fuck him. What's the next one say?
This is entitled "Fuck Them Up Their Stupid Asses".
"Bluntman & Chronic is the worst comic I ever read."
"Jay & Silent Bob are stupid characters."
"A couple of stoners who spout dumb ass catch phrases..."
"like a third rate Cheech & Chong, or Bill & Ted."
"Fuck Jay & Silent Bob! Fuck them up their stupid asses!"
Who the fuck said that shit?
"Jay & Silent Bob are one-note jokes that only stoners laugh at."
"They are fucking clown shoes."
"If they were real I'd beat the shit out of them for being so stupid."
"I will be boycotting this movie. Who is with me?"
Then there's like fifty more posts of people...
I'm gonna kill all these fucks.
worst - peggio
where - dove
underground - metropolitana
these - queste
stupid - stupido
sources - fonti
stoners - stoners
shoot - sparare
section - sezione
production - produzione
together - insieme
populated - popolata
people - persone
pathetic - patetico
playing - giocando
opining - opinare
silent - silenzioso
movies - film
world - mondo
movie - film
motherfucker - motherfucker
miramax - Miramax
militant - militante
looking - analizzare, cercare, guardare
living - vita
little - piccolo
alter - alterare
catch - catturare
bunch - mazzo
phrases - frasi
downloading - scaricamento
communications - comunicazioni
affleck - Affleck
boycotting - boicottando
comic - comico
point - punto
buffs - Gli appassionati
bluntman - bluntman
internet - Internet
cents - centesimi
adaptation - adattamento
characters - personaggi
chong - chong
scripts - script
actors - attori
indicated - indicato
bastards - bastardi
doses - dosi
information - informazione
about - di
chime - carillon
thing - cosa
spout - becco
being - essere
posts - Messaggi
pornography - pornografia
bitch - cagna
asses - asini
basement - seminterrato
phantoms - fantasmi
because - perché
think - pensare
claim - richiesta
thinks - pensa
shoes - scarpe
entitled - intitolato
third - terzo
cheech - Cheech
chronic - cronico
discussing - discutere
damon - Damon
deserve - meritare
despise - disprezzare
starting - di partenza
piece - pezzo
laugh - ridere
inside - dentro
either - o
share - condividere
fifty - cinquanta
clown - clown
friday - venerdì
fucking - cazzo
small - piccolo
fucks - scopa
couple - coppia
gonna - andando
those - quelli
their - loro
hunting - a caccia
jokes - scherzi
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