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Ooh, listen to this.
I got in a wreck because I was admiring
the shoulder hickey that Brett gave me
and got t-boned by a parked car.
Brett came over to comfort me and I'm so obsessed with him.
His face smells like Sea Breeze
and his hair is so long that when I make out with him
I pretend it's a scarf.
P.S. I might be pregnant.
- That shit is juicy. Read yours. - Okay.
I changed the grit on my rock tumbler today.
The amethyst is really shaping up.
I'm gonna mount it in a bolo tie for Dylan.
He got a new neck brace to stretch his melting vertebrae.
He loved his birthday card.
Especially how I burnt the edges of the scroll.
P.S. Crafting heals.
Last night at the party, I danced so hard my bra was soaking wet.
Jeff and I were flirting, and then he said
Let me show you something.
So we went to my room, and guess what he showed me?
A ween that is still wearing its hat.
Mmm. Your turn.
Wow. How many times did you have sex in this house?
You should have had sex here.
Having sex in your childhood bedroom is a rite of passage.
You chose the party mom role to protect yourself from fun.
No! I was not afraid of fun.
Here, check this out.
Happy birthday to me.
My party was amazing. I got what I asked for.
I am now a sponsor of a child in Ecuador.
I was the designated driver
because I could tell no one else wanted to be.
My favorite birthday gift was knowing everyone got home safe.
Last night was so fun I can't even talk about it.
There are no, period, words, period.
Man, I couldn't even talk about it!
I took my deaf friend to the Sheila E. concert
so she could really feel the music.
She was so grateful.
I didn't smoke pot because I was afraid there wasn't enough for everyone.
Oh, come on.
I miss those goddamn glory days.
Well, clearly, we had different experiences.
Oh, here's a play-by-play of a Jerry Lewis telethon.
Here's a chart of all the penises I ever saw.
Oh, good. Here's a quote from Helen Keller.
Here's really incorrect information about how to put a IUD in.
Here's a list of my houseplants.
- Put it in my butt. - Ew.
yourself - te stesso
wreck - relitto
words - parole
vertebrae - vertebre
breeze - brezza
happy - contento
protect - proteggere
guess - indovina
jerry - jerry
especially - particolarmente
burnt - bruciato
favorite - favorito
smells - odori
edges - bordi
designated - designato
gonna - andando
experiences - esperienze
wanted - ricercato
crafting - lavorazione
could - poteva
birthday - compleanno
wearing - indossare
because - perché
pretend - far finta
brett - brett
admiring - ammirativo
amethyst - ametista
scarf - sciarpa
concert - concerto
lewis - lewis
obsessed - ossessionato
about - di
information - informazione
enough - abbastanza
boned - disossato
showed - ha mostrato
hickey - hickey
amazing - stupefacente
brace - bretelle
clearly - chiaramente
goddamn - dannazione
everyone - tutti
different - diverso
times - volte
telethon - telethon
asked - chiesto
yours - il tuo
bedroom - camera da letto
chose - scelto
child - bambino
grateful - grato
check - dai un'occhiata
afraid - impaurito
danced - danzato
flirting - flirtare
ecuador - ecuador
comfort - comfort
music - musica
should - dovrebbero
heals - guarisce
house - casa
night - notte
sheila - sheila
incorrect - scorretto
juicy - succoso
keller - keller
knowing - sapendo
listen - ascolta
having - avendo
dylan - dylan
houseplants - piante d'appartamento
loved - amato
driver - autista
might - potrebbe
chart - grafico
mount - montare
really - veramente
helen - helen
smoke - fumo
party - partito
penises - peni
passage - passaggio
melting - fusione
period - periodo
pregnant - incinta
glory - gloria
quote - citazione
scroll - scorrere
changed - cambiato
those - quelli
shaping - modellare
stretch - allungare
shoulder - spalla
today - oggi
friend - amico
soaking - ammollo
childhood - infanzia
parked - parcheggiata
something - qualcosa
sponsor - sponsor
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