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Supper's ready! Come on, y'all! I've been slaving over this for hours!
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
...or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesus...
...we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC...
the always delicious Taco Bell.
I just want to take time to say thank you for my family...
...my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons...
...Walker and Texas Ranger...
...or T.R., as we call him...
...and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley...
...who is a stone-cold fox.
Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94.
Also wanna thank you for my best friend
...who's got my back no matter what.
Shake and Bake.
Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip.
We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers...
...to heal him and his horrible leg.
And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it.
Dear tiny infant Jesus,
You know, sweetie...
...Jesus did grow up.
You don't always have to call him "baby."
It's a bit odd and off-putting to pray to a baby.
I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace.
When you say grace, you can say it to grownup Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or...
...bearded Jesus, or whoever you want.
You know what I want?
I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow.
Dear tiny Jesus...
...in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists...
He was a man. He had a beard.
Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?
I win the races and I get the money.
Ricky, finish the damn grace.
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt...
...because it says, like, "I wanna be formal...
but I'm here to party too.
Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.
I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.
I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings.
And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd...
...with, like, a angel band.
And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk.
Hey, Cal?
- Why don't you just shut up? - Yes, ma'am.
would - voluto
wings - ali
vocals - vocals
version - versione
tuxedo - smoking
think - pensare
terrible - terribile
teenage - adolescenziale
sweetie - dolcezza
stone - pietra
south - sud
slaving - asservimento
skynyrd - skynyrd
singing - cantando
saying - detto
samurai - samurai
ricky - ricky
ready - pronto
races - gare
fighting - combattente
striking - suggestivo
smells - odori
fists - pugni
drunk - ubriaco
carley - carley
tomorrow - domani
beard - barba
smoking - fumo
course - corso
balled - appallottolato
harvest - raccolto
lynyrd - Lynyrd
handsome - bello
always - sempre
infant - infantile
walker - camminatore
easily - facilmente
texas - Texas
matter - importa
ranger - guardia forestale
father - padre
angel - angelo
bountiful - munifico
diapers - pannolini
horrible - orribile
because - perché
giant - gigante
brothers - fratelli
hours - ore
picture - immagine
finish - finire
bothering - fastidioso
shirt - camicia
beautiful - bellissimo
fleece - vello
whoever - chiunque
friend - amico
bearded - barbuto
front - davanti
grace - grazia
hammered - martellato
golden - d'oro
jesus - Gesù
thank - ringraziare
formal - formale
money - i soldi
grownup - crescere
family - famiglia
little - piccolo
ninja - ninja
shake - scuotere
delicious - delizioso
party - partito
wanna - voglio
christmas - natale
powers - potenze
putting - mettendo
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