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No, my friends.
This is now the United States of Zombieland.
It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.
And why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat?
It's because of my list of rules.
Rule number one for surviving Zombieland: Cardio.
When the virus struck, for obvious reasons...
...the first ones to go were the fatties.
Poor fat bastard.
But as the infection spread and the chaos grew...
...it wasn't enoughto just be fast on your feet.
You had to get a gun and learn how to use it.
Which leads me to my second rule: The Double Tap.
In those moments when you're not sure the undead are really "dead" dead...
...don't get all stingy with your bullets.
I mean, one more clean shot to the head...
...and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal.
Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
Wasn't long before the zombies began to get clever.
When you're at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it.
Can't a guy take a dumper in peace?
Don't let them catch you with your pants down.
Rule nimber three: Beware of bathrooms.
As zombies began to outnumber humans...
...well, that's when you had to cut all emotional ties.
If the girls in your neighborhood are now fucked-up little monsters...
...well, maybe it's time to stop driving carpool.
You had to focus on your own survival...
...which leads to rule number four. Pretty basic.
Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
zombies - zombie
zombieland - Zombieland
which - quale
vulnerable - vulnerabile
virus - virus
united - unito
undead - non morti
three - tre
those - quelli
woulda - woulda
surviving - sopravvivendo
struck - colpito
storm - tempesta
stingy - avaro
somehow - in qualche modo
survival - sopravvivenza
shoulda - shoulda
second - secondo
rules - regole
quickly - velocemente
outnumber - superare in numero
obvious - evidente
reasons - motivi
neighborhood - quartiere
monsters - mostri
gonna - andando
fasten - allacciare
clever - intelligente
bullets - proiettili
things - cose
spread - diffusione
beware - diffidare
double - raddoppiare
began - iniziato
coulda - coulda
chaos - caos
peace - pace
number - numero
fucked - scopata
turned - trasformato
girls - ragazze
around - in giro
carpool - car
alive - vivo
bathrooms - bagni
really - veramente
everyone - tutti
could - poteva
little - piccolo
catch - catturare
basic - di base
bastard - bastardo
states - Stati
before - prima
emotional - emotivo
bumpy - accidentato
belts - cinture
because - perché
driving - guida
becoming - diventando
enoughto - abbastanza per
pretty - bella
cardio - cardio
fatties - ciccioni
first - primo
total - totale
moments - momenti
clean - pulito
focus - messa a fuoco
smell - odore
friends - amici
avoided - evitato
dumper - dumper
happy - contento
human - umano
humans - gli esseri umani
infection - infezione
nimber - nimber
maybe - può essere
pants - pantaloni
amazing - stupefacente
leads - conduce
learn - imparare
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