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Ooh, listen to this.
I got in a wreck because I was admiring
the shoulder hickey that Brett gave me
and got t-boned by a parked car.
Brett came over to comfort me and I'm so obsessed with him.
His face smells like Sea Breeze
and his hair is so long that when I make out with him
I pretend it's a scarf.
P.S. I might be pregnant.
- That shit is juicy. Read yours. - Okay.
I changed the grit on my rock tumbler today.
The amethyst is really shaping up.
I'm gonna mount it in a bolo tie for Dylan.
He got a new neck brace to stretch his melting vertebrae.
He loved his birthday card.
Especially how I burnt the edges of the scroll.
P.S. Crafting heals.
Last night at the party, I danced so hard my bra was soaking wet.
Jeff and I were flirting, and then he said
Let me show you something.
So we went to my room, and guess what he showed me?
A ween that is still wearing its hat.
Mmm. Your turn.
Wow. How many times did you have sex in this house?
You should have had sex here.
Having sex in your childhood bedroom is a rite of passage.
You chose the party mom role to protect yourself from fun.
No! I was not afraid of fun.
Here, check this out.
Happy birthday to me.
My party was amazing. I got what I asked for.
I am now a sponsor of a child in Ecuador.
I was the designated driver
because I could tell no one else wanted to be.
My favorite birthday gift was knowing everyone got home safe.
Last night was so fun I can't even talk about it.
There are no, period, words, period.
Man, I couldn't even talk about it!
I took my deaf friend to the Sheila E. concert
so she could really feel the music.
She was so grateful.
I didn't smoke pot because I was afraid there wasn't enough for everyone.
Oh, come on.
I miss those goddamn glory days.
Well, clearly, we had different experiences.
Oh, here's a play-by-play of a Jerry Lewis telethon.
Here's a chart of all the penises I ever saw.
Oh, good. Here's a quote from Helen Keller.
Here's really incorrect information about how to put a IUD in.
Here's a list of my houseplants.
- Put it in my butt. - Ew.
yourself - siebie
wreck - wrak
words - Słowa
vertebrae - kręgi
breeze - bryza
happy - szczęśliwy
protect - ochraniać
guess - odgadnąć
jerry - nocnik
especially - szczególnie
burnt - spalony
favorite - ulubiony
smells - zapachy
edges - krawędzie
designated - wyznaczony
gonna - gonna
experiences - wzruszenie religijne
wanted - chciał
crafting - crafting
could - mógłby
birthday - urodziny
wearing - ma na sobie
because - bo
pretend - udać
brett - Brett
admiring - podziwiając
amethyst - ametyst
scarf - szalik
concert - koncert
lewis - chwytak
obsessed - obsesję
about - o
information - informacja
enough - dość
boned - bez kości
showed - pokazał
hickey - Hickey
amazing - niesamowity
brace - klamra
clearly - wyraźnie
goddamn - przeklęty
everyone - każdy
different - różne
times - czasy
telethon - telethon
asked - spytał
yours - twój
bedroom - sypialnia
chose - wybrał
child - dziecko
grateful - wdzięczny
check - czek
afraid - przestraszony
danced - tańczył
flirting - flirtować
ecuador - Ekwador
comfort - komfort
music - muzyka
should - powinien
heals - leczy
house - dom
night - noc
sheila - Sheila
incorrect - błędny
juicy - soczysty
keller - Keller
knowing - porozumiewawczy
listen - słuchać
having - mający
dylan - Dylan
houseplants - rośliny domowe
loved - kochał
driver - kierowca
might - moc
chart - Wykres
mount - uchwyt
really - naprawdę
helen - helen
smoke - palić
party - przyjęcie
penises - penisy
passage - przejście
melting - topienie
period - Okres
pregnant - w ciąży
glory - chwała
quote - zacytować
scroll - zwój
changed - zmienić
those - te
shaping - modelacja
stretch - rozciągać
shoulder - ramię
today - dzisiaj
friend - przyjaciel
soaking - moczenie
childhood - dzieciństwo
parked - zaparkowany
something - coś
sponsor - sponsor
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