Some friends and I in a public place
Were playing cards one night
When into the room a fireman ran
His face all chalky while.
"What's up?", says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,
or have you seen you aunt Mariah?"
"Me aunt Maria be buggered!", says he,
"The bleedin' pub's on fire!"
"Oh well," says Brown, "What a bit of luck.
Everybody follow me!
Ands it's down to the cellar,
If the fire's not there
Then we'll have a grand old spree."
So we all went down with good old Brown
The booze we could not miss
And we had't been in there ten minutes or more
Till we were all quite pissed.
And there was Brown upside down
Lappin' up the Whiskey on the floor.
"Let's booze, booze!" The firemen cried
As they came knockin' on the door
O don't let ,em in till it's all drunk up
Somebody shouted: "MacIntyre!" - MACINTYRE!
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
When the old Dun Cow caught fire.
Then Smith walked over to the port wine tub
and he gave it a few hard knocks
The he started takin' off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks.
"Oh, no!" says Brown, "that ain't allowed!
You can't do that thing here!
