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I'm gonna try to do everything by myself today.
This should be fine.
As long as everybody does what they are supposed to do! Right?
Oh no...
Got four minutes to get Rosco to the vet, so I love you kids get out, get out!
Oh my god!
Emergency PTA meeting today at five o'clock, will we see you there?
I'll totally get a sitter on a Tuesday night...
-Yes you can, you actually can!
What do I have on the schedule today?
You're super late for your marketing meeting.
You have to tell me these things!
I can't believe I'm gonna be late for my first soccer practice.
I'm sorry. Okay? I'm trying.
Well try harder, dude!
Good job. Good boy.
The bake sale.
No BPA. No MSG. No BHA, no BHT.
No sesame, no soy, and of course no nuts or eggs or milk or butter or salt or sugar or wheat.
No.
What's that now?
I'm so tired of trying to be this perfect mom...
I'm done.
You said everything I've ever felt about being a mom but couldn't say.
There are so many rules now...
Don't punish your kids.
Don't say no to your kids.
We all work too damn hard trying to make our kids' lives amazing and magical.
Their lives already are amazing and magical.
Let's be bad moms.
Oh amen!
To bad moms!
Cindy!
We have to bring down the perfect moms.
Are those store-bought doughnut holes, Cindy?
Um...
I am going to destroy you.
I say we go punch that chick right in the tits.
-Great. -I'm in!
I made out with so many women tonight...
Guys... I really like whip-its!
Is that your mom bra?
-Looks like you have one long boob. - Uniboob.
This is my sexy bra!
-Looks like you wrapped an ACE bandage around yourself like three times. - Yeah, I don't even want to touch it.
That's like an eye mask, like you put it in the fridge.
You got a very Boys Don't Cry thing happening right now.
yourself
wrapped
women
wheat
tuesday
trying
touch
totally
tonight
today
tired
times
these
there
three
those
their
supposed
store
sitter
emergency
gonna
doughnut
things
course
great
cindy
looks
chick
fridge
destroy
sorry
perfect
already
actually
soccer
amazing
everything
myself
bought
practice
first
happening
really
everybody
around
about
magical
bandage
should
believe
thing
being
meeting
holes
butter
lives
bring
marketing
super
night
punch
sugar
punish
minutes
harder
right
sesame
uniboob
going
rosco
rules
schedule
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