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So we tried the cops and tried the newspapers,
and even set up a, you know, a thing
on the Internet for people to help us find Tommy.
But we got nothing. We never saw our son again.
I came up with the name Remembering Tommy,
and, we've been doing this three nights a week. So...
Colonel Stars and Stripes found us online.
That's terrible, guys. I'm real sorry.
I became Night Bitch after my sister was murdered and found in a dumpster.
Holy shit.
Doesn't bring her back, but...
at least I'm doing something positive about it.
- Insect Man. - Yeah, um...
I've been bullied my, my whole life for being gay,
so now I stand up for the defenseless.
That's why I don't wear a mask.
Too much like being back in the closet.
Long as your heart's in the right place,
we don't care what you put in your mouth.
- Fist bump. - Thank you. Thank you, sir.
Well, I became Battle Guy
after my parents were mugged and killed coming home from the opera.
Did I tell you guys that that sick bastard
maxed out their credit cards on porno sites?
I just hope we get the chance to say hello to this guy someday
so I can personally levitate his soul from his body.
Oh, my God. Marty?
Yeah, I knew I recognized your voice.
No, I.. I don't, I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know Marty. New guy.
Hey, asshole, it's me, Dave.
Dave? Why are you dressed like Kick-Ass?
Because I'm Kick-Ass.
You two know each other?
Yeah, like since we were five.
What's all this bullshit about your parents getting killed?
- Yeesh, language. - What?
Battle Guy, care to update your résumé?
I'm trying to figure out how to explain this
without sounding like a complete idiot right now.
Yeah, I'm not sure that's possible, Batman.
I'm not, either.
Okay. Well, when I found you guys online,
you were all swapping these awesome origin stories.
Colonel, you're ex-Mafia, for Christ's sake.
Yo. Don't take the Lord's name in vain.
I'm sorry.
I didn't think you guys would let me join the team
unless I had a good story, too.
All right, we'll let you off the hook this time, Battle Guy.
- Wanna see something cool? - Yeah.
I thought this could be our meeting room.
Whoa, this is so cool.
Now this little renovation was totally clandestine,
which means nobody knew about it.
Now, I know it's not much, but this is just the beginning.
Together we can make a real difference.
If you'd consider it, Kick-Ass, we'd be honored to have you join us.
Hell, yeah!
without
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personally
because
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three
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other
talking
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mafia
marty
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consider
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since
clandestine
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again
colonel
nothing
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