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Nancy, I thought you might want your speech.
It's too late.
- No, do you want your speech, Nancy? - Yes.
OK, good. But just be-be quiet and let me give it to you, then.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...
and friends and members of Nancy's family
who I've never met before in my life.
I met a girl today, the wrong girl,
except she turned out to be the right girl.
And this girl who took a chance on me
in the most bizarre and romantic way possible
wanted me to take a chance on her, but
...I didn't, you know. I didn't. I blew it,
like a stupid 40-year-old, mid-life-crisis dickhead that I am.
Which is why I sought help from old beaus.
Yes, you... not the most reliable of sources, really. Yeah. Whatever.
But undeterred, I, I commandeered these brilliant young drunks,
because nothing was gonna stop me from finding this girl
and telling her what I should have told her earlier on.
Nancy, I am so bloody glad you pretended to be my date today,
because, if you hadn't,
then I never would've heard any of your amazing sex theories
or... watched you trying to get jalapeno out of your teeth
or witnessed your very instinctive firewoman skills.
I would never have got to know that muddy, beautiful triathlete face
or witnessed that awesome, highly competitive arse
as you were about to get another strike.
In fact, if you hadn't have pretended to be my date today,
my day would have been utterly rubbish.
And so, quite possibly, would have been the rest of my life.
Don't make those noises, I'm right on the edge.
Nancy, you said I was an emotional jigsaw
and that I should look for the blue bits.
I think you might be the blue bits, Nancy.
So what do you say?
Quid pro quo?
What does it say in Six Billion People and You?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Fuck the past.
wanted
undeterred
triathlete
whatever
those
which
think
utterly
these
theories
telling
teeth
stupid
speech
sorry
should
right
watched
sought
skills
really
witnessed
rubbish
emotional
turned
trying
girls
would
crisis
noises
except
because
today
commandeered
competitive
about
bloody
before
brilliant
dickhead
another
billion
drunks
beaus
awesome
nothing
beautiful
bizarre
people
family
earlier
members
possibly
quite
chance
muddy
reliable
finding
firewoman
gentlemen
gonna
strike
highly
romantic
heard
instinctive
jalapeno
jigsaw
thought
sources
ladies
young
amazing
never
might
nancy
possible
wrong
friends
pretended
quiet
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