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- My Best Friend's Girl
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My Best Friend's Girl - A Dissatisfied Customer
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Everybody, you're late.
Don't let it happen again.
I'm Tank and I will be brief.
Here at Airmeister we have two rules.
No refunds.
The beauty of an air purifier is that
nobody can prove that it doesn't work.
Amanda, you saucy tart.
I want somebody really pissed off.
I'm talking about DEFCON 2
level of anger.
Who do you got for me, baby?
I have just the one for you, Tank.
She's furious and she asked
for you by name.
Put her through.
Tank Turner, Customer Satisfaction.
How may I help you?
Before we even discuss
what I just received...
... which is a whole other mystery...
...I demand an explanation
for yesterday.
Ma'am, I'm fully concerned.
What happened yesterday?
Are you gay?
Or are you just an asshole?
Oh, ma'am. Profanity is superfluous
because no verbal affront...
...could be as devastating to me
as your dissatisfaction.
Dissatisfaction?
Yes, I mean if the unit's performance
or lack thereof has left you frustrated...
See, I never saw your unit. I gave
you a chance and you didn't deliver.
Ma'am, you're upset.
I'm upset. I'm upset that you will
never, ever know what it's like...
...to sit on a hot, sweaty
summer night...
...and let that unit blow
its glorious bounty all over your face.
You think after the shit
you put me through...
...that I... I called just so
you could talk dirty to me?
I gave you a one-time
free hall pass for sex.
Good sex. Hot sex.
I fucking roofied myself.
I'm a little confused. Amanda?
You're confused?
That makes two of us...
...because I don't know what kind
of asshole acts like an asshole...
...and then when it actually comes
time to be an asshole, walks away.
Like a total asshole.
Making me look like
an even bigger asshole...
...for offering some big-ass asshole
asshole-sex in the first place.
What kind of asshole are you?
This is actually a personal call.
Dude, you are so hired.
Excuse me for a second.
walks
verbal
upset
turner
total
thereof
sweaty
superfluous
summer
somebody
saucy
whole
satisfaction
roofied
really
purifier
profanity
personal
performance
received
nobody
never
pissed
could
bounty
dissatisfaction
level
through
little
prove
confused
yesterday
first
offering
glorious
comes
called
rules
brief
talking
other
about
myself
because
airmeister
chance
furious
before
actually
happen
amanda
asshole
concerned
beauty
after
bigger
asked
anger
which
think
explanation
frustrated
again
customer
place
demand
defcon
deliver
second
making
devastating
fully
dirty
refunds
night
makes
discuss
affront
everybody
mystery
excuse
fucking
happened
hired
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