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Everybody, you're late. Don't let it happen again.
I'm Tank and I will be brief.
Here at Airmeister we have two rules. No refunds.
The beauty of an air purifier is that nobody can prove that it doesn't work.
Amanda, you saucy tart. I want somebody really pissed off.
I'm talking about DEFCON 2 level of anger.
Who do you got for me, baby?
I have just the one for you, Tank.
She's furious and she asked for you by name.
Put her through.
Tank Turner, Customer Satisfaction. How may I help you?
Before we even discuss what I just received...
... which is a whole other mystery...
...I demand an explanation for yesterday.
Ma'am, I'm fully concerned. What happened yesterday?
Are you gay? Or are you just an asshole?
Oh, ma'am. Profanity is superfluous because no verbal affront...
...could be as devastating to me as your dissatisfaction.
Dissatisfaction?
Yes, I mean if the unit's performance or lack thereof has left you frustrated...
See, I never saw your unit. I gave you a chance and you didn't deliver.
Ma'am, you're upset.
I'm upset. I'm upset that you will never, ever know what it's like...
...to sit on a hot, sweaty summer night...
...and let that unit blow its glorious bounty all over your face.
You think after the shit you put me through...
...that I... I called just so you could talk dirty to me?
I gave you a one-time free hall pass for sex.
Good sex. Hot sex.
I fucking roofied myself.
I'm a little confused. Amanda?
You're confused? That makes two of us...
...because I don't know what kind of asshole acts like an asshole...
...and then when it actually comes time to be an asshole, walks away.
Like a total asshole.
Making me look like an even bigger asshole...
...for offering some big-ass asshole asshole-sex in the first place.
What kind of asshole are you?
This is actually a personal call.
Dude, you are so hired.
Excuse me for a second.
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hired
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