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Dear Eloise, I am writing to say
A number of funny things I heard today
I heard that he's left you and run off to sea
Could be the best thing that's happened to me
Two, three, four
Writing a letter to make you feel better
Sorry to hear that he left you that way
I could have told you, he was much older
So much older than you
You rushed in blindly, he treated you kindly
Until he found out what he could get from you
You should have departed before he got started
