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Supper's ready! Come on, y'all! I've been slaving over this for hours!
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
...or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesus...
...we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC...
the always delicious Taco Bell.
I just want to take time to say thank you for my family...
...my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons...
...Walker and Texas Ranger...
...or T.R., as we call him...
...and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley...
...who is a stone-cold fox.
Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94.
Also wanna thank you for my best friend
...who's got my back no matter what.
Shake and Bake.
Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip.
We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers...
...to heal him and his horrible leg.
And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it.
Dear tiny infant Jesus,
You know, sweetie...
...Jesus did grow up.
You don't always have to call him "baby."
It's a bit odd and off-putting to pray to a baby.
I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace.
When you say grace, you can say it to grownup Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or...
...bearded Jesus, or whoever you want.
You know what I want?
I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow.
Dear tiny Jesus...
...in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists...
He was a man. He had a beard.
Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?
I win the races and I get the money.
Ricky, finish the damn grace.
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt...
...because it says, like, "I wanna be formal...
but I'm here to party too.
Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.
I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.
I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings.
And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd...
...with, like, a angel band.
And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk.
Hey, Cal?
- Why don't you just shut up? - Yes, ma'am.
would - by
wings - skrzydełka
vocals - wokale
version - wersja
tuxedo - smoking
think - myśleć
terrible - straszny
teenage - nastolatek
sweetie - kochanie
stone - kamień
south - południe
slaving - niewolnictwo
skynyrd - skynyrd
singing - śpiewanie
saying - powiedzenie
samurai - samuraj
ricky - ricky
ready - gotowy
races - rasy
fighting - walczący
striking - uderzający
smells - zapachy
fists - pięści
drunk - pijany
carley - carley
tomorrow - jutro
beard - zarost
smoking - palenie
course - kurs
balled - zwinięty
harvest - żniwa
lynyrd - Lynyrd
handsome - przystojny
always - zawsze
infant - dziecko
walker - piechur
easily - z łatwością
texas - texas
matter - materia
ranger - leśniczy
father - ojciec
angel - anioł
bountiful - hojny
diapers - Pieluchy
horrible - okropny
because - bo
giant - ogromny
brothers - braci
hours - godziny
picture - obrazek
finish - koniec
bothering - kłopotliwy
shirt - koszula
beautiful - piękny
fleece - runo
whoever - ktokolwiek
friend - przyjaciel
bearded - brodaty
front - z przodu
grace - wdzięk
hammered - młotkiem
golden - złoty
jesus - Jezus
thank - podziękować
formal - formalny
money - pieniądze
grownup - dorosły
family - rodzina
little - mało
ninja - ninja
shake - potrząsnąć
delicious - pyszne
party - przyjęcie
wanna - chcę
christmas - [object Object]
powers - uprawnienie
putting - kładzenie
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