Exercícios
Comedy
Going the Distance - The Mustache Time Machine

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Going the Distance - The Mustache Time Machine (Pt)

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Categoria: Comedy

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script de vídeo

palavras para memorizar

Can I please get the garbage omelet, double meat, home fries...

and how about everything bagel...

...with butter, cream cheese, jelly, all that shit.

And then, you know what? I'll take a chocolate shake.

And I will make it very easy for you.

- You know, I'll have that same exact thing. - Okay.

- I'll just have the turkey burger. - Okay.

Is there a way to just wrap it in lettuce, like use lettuce as if the bun?

- We can do no bun. Does that work? - No bun. Yeah.

Fries or salad?

Uh, I'll get the salad with dressing on the side.

- Yep, coming up. - Thank you.

Wow! - What?

- That's like... you're eating like a bird there, huh? - No.

He's visiting Erin for Thanksgiving and worrying about his weight.

- All right. - Jesus. - I told you not to say anything.

We haven't seen each other in a while, okay? So...

Okay, I get that. I understand. That makes sense to me.

- Wanna tighten up. - I get you, I get you.

I mean, If you're so worried about your appearance,

are you gonna do something about your veiny, white skin? Mm.

'Cause right now you look like an actor in a kabuki troupe.

- You're really want to talk about appearances. - How so?

No offense, but with the moustache...

- What? You don't like it? - It's disgusting.

I don't care what you think about this. This is not for you.

Who's it for, the ྏ Yankees bullpen?

Very funny.

No, I'm actually trying to scratch a very specific demographic off my fuck-it list.

What's a fuck-it list?

He's got this list, it's like a bucket list...

but it's all the women he's trying to bang before he dies.

So, what kind of women are you hoping to attract with your moustache?

Older women, between 45 and 60.

Oh, so, cougars.

- This is where it's weird. - No. No, not cougars.

Okay, see, cougars, to me, are sad, desperate

older women that want to be young now.

Okay? But what I'm looking for are older attractive women...

that want to be young again. All right?

See, when women see me with a moustache of that type...

they're transported back to a time when the moustache was king:

- The '70s, the early '80s. - Right.

All right? The era of their sexual awakening.

So then, when I'm on top of them, and they look up at me...

they see this person, they're transported back to that time.

All right? See, this isn't a moustache, it's a time machine.

It's a time machine to the back of Burt Reynolds' Camaro.

Right. You know what, it's... - Bottom line is, dude, don't get a moustache, get a tan.

I don't think she's that kind of girl.

I just don't think she's that superficial. - Really?

Okay, so she won't bang fat dudes...

but she will sleep with a guy who has skin

that looks like his face is covered in jizz?

Bro, If she's gonna dump you for eating too many carbs...

she's definitely gonna dump you for not having a tan.

That's true.

All right, I get the point.

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yankees - ianques

worried - preocupado

white - branco

weight - peso

wanna - quero

visiting - visitando

trying - tentando

think - pensar

while - enquanto

their - deles

thanksgiving - ação de graças

thing - coisa

superficial - superficial

worrying - preocupante

transported - transportado

something - alguma coisa

shake - mexe

weird - esquisito

sense - sentido

scratch - coçar, arranhão

right - certo

really - realmente

salad - salada

point - ponto

person - pessoa

omelet - omelete

offense - ofensa

makes - faz com que

looking - olhando

sexual - sexual

older - mais velho

lettuce - alface

butter - manteiga

covered - coberto

burger - hambúrguer

dressing - vestir

early - cedo

looks - parece

exact - exato

where - onde

bullpen - bullpen

actor - ator

there - há

bucket - balde

carbs - carboidratos

bottom - inferior

chocolate - chocolate

before - antes

demographic - demográfico

actually - na realidade

appearance - aparência

please - por favor

between - entre

veiny - жилистый

bagel - bagel

garbage - lixo

cheese - queijo

jesus - Jesus

other - de outros

about - sobre

attractive - atraente

understand - compreendo

appearances - aparências

sleep - dormir

gonna - vai

thank - obrigado

anything - qualquer coisa

camaro - camaro

women - mulheres

double - duplo

young - jovem

awakening - despertar

disgusting - repugnante

turkey - Peru

troupe - trupe

moustache - bigode

cougars - pumas

again - novamente

cream - creme

specific - específico

hoping - na esperança

definitely - definitivamente

machine - máquina

fries - fritas

desperate - desesperado

eating - comendo

attract - atrai

kabuki - kabuki

jelly - geléia

coming - chegando

everything - tudo

dudes - caras

funny - engraçado

tighten - apertar

having - tendo

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