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I mean, I really, really like her, but...
she's-- she's got some issues, you know?
- I mean, that's gonna happen. - Yeah.
- It's like, last night we went out drinking, and, like - You? - Yeah, I went out drinking.
And she, uh-- And, uh-- We, uh--
You know, I don't drink. I got hammered.
And then she drank a lot, but she didn't - Barely got-
But she didn't get drunk at all.
She's-
- So how's the sex? - The sex?
Why do you always wanna know this stuff, man?
Listen, I'm a married man. Uh-huh.
I need to live vicariously through you.
- Just give me a couple of details. - No.
- Just like 11. - Eleven details?
When you're married as long as me, you'll understand.
She knows what she wants. It's great.
The sex is great. It's rough. It's wild.
I mean, if it's not wild, it's not right.
Right. But no, it's crazy.
Like pulling my hair and stuff and...
We've never-- We haven't even laid down yet.
Always either, like, sitting up or against a wall or something.
- I've never been on top once. - Oh.
- We have a safe word. - Already?
- Yeah. It's "calypso." - Man, it's pretty early for a safe word.
- It is. - Wow - Second date, we had a safe word.
It's insane, man.
You ready for this? Come on, man.
- I've been practicing. - Man, knock it off.
Ready for this?
- Yeah! Oh. It's foul. - Foul?
- Yeah, man. You hit me. - No.
- You use protection, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she's got little bowls of condoms all around her apartment.
- Condoms? - Yeah.
It's not about condoms. I's more, like, protection, like a lawyer.
- Like a nondisclosure agreement, you know?
No penetration without representation.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
- Wh-- What happened? - Nothing, man.
Listen, I'll tell you one thing.
You don't wanna have a baby mama. Yeah? Next thing, you're paying for a Ferrari.
- Yeah. - You getting her a big house, a big mansion.
She's gonna want to start a jumpsuit line.
And you gonna have to pay for it. You wanna go through that?
You gotta convince one of your friends to say he's the dad and raise the child.
Like, who wants to go through that? Kid end up being 6'7", and your best friend only 5'2".
Eighteen years later, the kid comes and he writes a book about you saying how much of a jackass you are.
Yeah. Eighteen years, man. Eighteen years.
Your baby mama's car and crib is bigger than his.
You could turn on the TV any given Sunday.
Win the Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai.
She was supposed to get the shorty Tyco with your money.
Then she went to the doctor, got lipo with your money.
What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about?
- It's Kanye. - You're quoting Kanye West to me?
You know what? Amy's not like that.
Amy's not like that at all. She's awesome.
And this is gonna be great.
- And I think she's cool, and I don't have to worry about that, you know. - All right.
Oh! Did you let me do that?
Did I just score on you?
Yes! You are my bitch, LeBron James!
But not really. Not really.
You gotta admit, that was a good shot though. Come on, man.
I scored on LeBron James. I'm never playing basketball again.
Lunch is on you, buddy!
Where you going, Aaron? Whoo!
Aaron!
LeBron.
Whoo!
Goddamn it!
years - anos
writes - escreve
without - sem
vicariously - indiretamente
think - pensar
talking - falando
supposed - suposto
super - super
sunday - [object Object]
goddamn - maldito
ready - pronto
basketball - basquetebol
either - ou
details - detalhes
crazy - louco
wanna - quero
start - começar
could - poderia
scored - marcou
couple - casal
gonna - vai
practicing - praticando
already - já
given - dado
drinking - bebendo
drive - dirigir
quoting - citando
going - indo
lebron - lebron
early - cedo
awesome - impressionante
lunch - almoço
nothing - nada
aaron - aaron
about - sobre
comes - vem
hyundai - hyundai
getting - obtendo
second - segundo
eighteen - dezoito
against - contra
buddy - camarada
always - sempre
friends - amigos
drunk - bêbado
admit - admitem
again - novamente
drank - bebia
gotta - tenho que
penetration - penetração
child - criança
doctor - médico
barely - mal
happened - aconteceu
calypso - Calipso
drink - beber
around - por aí
wants - quer
pulling - puxar
apartment - apartamento
bitch - cadela
bowls - tigelas
knows - sabe
though - apesar
condoms - preservativos
little - pequeno
where - onde
bigger - maior
great - ótimo
house - casa
insane - insano
worry - preocupação
issues - problemas
listen - ouço
agreement - acordo
representation - representação
jackass - burro
sitting - sentado
kanye - kanye
mansion - mansão
knock - batida
later - mais tarde
money - dinheiro
understand - compreendo
never - nunca
raise - levantar
hammered - martelado
night - noite
protection - protecção
nondisclosure - não divulgação
through - através
paying - pagando
thing - coisa
playing - jogando
friend - amigos
pretty - bonita
married - casado
really - realmente
convince - convencer
james - james
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