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Can I please get the garbage omelet, double meat, home fries...
and how about everything bagel...
...with butter, cream cheese, jelly, all that shit.
And then, you know what? I'll take a chocolate shake.
And I will make it very easy for you.
- You know, I'll have that same exact thing. - Okay.
- I'll just have the turkey burger. - Okay.
Is there a way to just wrap it in lettuce, like use lettuce as if the bun?
- We can do no bun. Does that work? - No bun. Yeah.
Fries or salad?
Uh, I'll get the salad with dressing on the side.
- Yep, coming up. - Thank you.
Wow! - What?
- That's like... you're eating like a bird there, huh? - No.
He's visiting Erin for Thanksgiving and worrying about his weight.
- All right. - Jesus. - I told you not to say anything.
We haven't seen each other in a while, okay? So...
Okay, I get that. I understand. That makes sense to me.
- Wanna tighten up. - I get you, I get you.
I mean, If you're so worried about your appearance,
are you gonna do something about your veiny, white skin? Mm.
'Cause right now you look like an actor in a kabuki troupe.
- You're really want to talk about appearances. - How so?
No offense, but with the moustache...
- What? You don't like it? - It's disgusting.
I don't care what you think about this. This is not for you.
Who's it for, the ྏ Yankees bullpen?
Very funny.
No, I'm actually trying to scratch a very specific demographic off my fuck-it list.
What's a fuck-it list?
He's got this list, it's like a bucket list...
but it's all the women he's trying to bang before he dies.
So, what kind of women are you hoping to attract with your moustache?
Older women, between 45 and 60.
Oh, so, cougars.
- This is where it's weird. - No. No, not cougars.
Okay, see, cougars, to me, are sad, desperate
older women that want to be young now.
Okay? But what I'm looking for are older attractive women...
that want to be young again. All right?
See, when women see me with a moustache of that type...
they're transported back to a time when the moustache was king:
- The '70s, the early '80s. - Right.
All right? The era of their sexual awakening.
So then, when I'm on top of them, and they look up at me...
they see this person, they're transported back to that time.
All right? See, this isn't a moustache, it's a time machine.
It's a time machine to the back of Burt Reynolds' Camaro.
Right. You know what, it's... - Bottom line is, dude, don't get a moustache, get a tan.
I don't think she's that kind of girl.
I just don't think she's that superficial. - Really?
Okay, so she won't bang fat dudes...
but she will sleep with a guy who has skin
that looks like his face is covered in jizz?
Bro, If she's gonna dump you for eating too many carbs...
she's definitely gonna dump you for not having a tan.
That's true.
All right, I get the point.
yankees - янкиз
worried - волновался
white - белый
weight - вес
wanna - хочу
visiting - посещение
trying - пытаясь
think - думать
while - в то время как
their - их
thanksgiving - благодарение
thing - вещь
superficial - поверхностный
worrying - беспокойство
transported - транспортируются
something - что нибудь
shake - встряхивать
weird - странный
sense - смысл
scratch - царапина
right - правильно
really - действительно
salad - салат
point - точка
person - человек
omelet - омлет
offense - преступление
makes - марки
looking - ищу
sexual - половой
older - старшая
lettuce - салат
butter - масло
covered - покрытый
burger - бутерброд
dressing - перевязочный
early - рано
looks - выглядит
exact - точный
where - где
bullpen - КПЗ
actor - актер
there - там
bucket - ведро
carbs - карбюраторы
bottom - дно
chocolate - шоколад
before - до
demographic - демографический
actually - на самом деле
appearance - появление
please - пожалуйста
between - между
veiny - жилистый
bagel - рогалик
garbage - мусор
cheese - сыр
jesus - Иисус
other - другие
about - около
attractive - привлекательный
understand - понимаю
appearances - Выступления
sleep - спать
gonna - собирается
thank - спасибо
anything - что-нибудь
camaro - Camaro
women - женщины
double - двойной
young - молодой
awakening - пробуждение
disgusting - отвратительный
turkey - турция
troupe - труппа
moustache - усы
cougars - пумы
again - еще раз
cream - крем
specific - конкретный
hoping - надеясь
definitely - определенно
machine - машина
fries - картофель фри
desperate - отчаянный
eating - принимать пищу
attract - привлекать
kabuki - кабуки
jelly - желе
coming - приход
everything - все
dudes - чуваки
funny - веселая
tighten - затянуть
having - имеющий
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