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Guys, I heard all about what's going on.
We are gonna work this out.
You know, I, I've yet to meet anyone who ignores customers more than this one.
We are all on the same team here.
If you need me, I'll be three feet away.
- Thank you. - All right, give it to me.
- Give it to me. What have you got? - It's not good.
I don't feel good. My panic attacks are coming back.
I'm starting to taste metal, and I have a sebaceous cyst
growing in the back of my head.
And my wife is threatening to fuck every pool boy we ever hired.
Lianne is not going to fuck the pool boy.
Have you seen my guy? He basically said "Fuck shirts."
He is a good-looking, muscular guy.
He looks like one of those Telemundo soap stars.
I don't know why you hire guys like that.
I'm not saying that...
What are the top complaints from your wives?
Top five or top 10?
What does she not like? What does she say?
Like me. She doesn't like me.
She says I smell like mushrooms sometimes.
All right, guys, I know I fucked up, but I'm gonna make this right. Okay?
I got the fix. You listening?
- Yeah. - Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna take things I've learned in my single life
and help you apply them to your married life.
Yeah, but how long is something like this gonna take?
I don't know, a week?
No, no, Lianne's gonna be married to Jose Jr. by then.
She's gonna have a whole Mexican family with little kids wearing sombreros,
doing the cha-cha-cha, eating guacamole dip.
- Marty! - What?
How are you going to take what you learned in your single life
and have us apply it to our married life?
You have sex with beautiful strangers, and...
we make waffles at 7:00 a.m.
Because everything I say, everything I do when it comes to women
is about connection. You understand?
You, my boys, have lost your ability to connect with your wives.
You're right, you know, I can't even connect the cable!
I hate my life.
You won't hate yourself after I'm done with you
because I'm gonna bring back everything you lost.
- What, like my manhood? - No!
Like, like being spontaneous.
Remember how spontaneous you guys used to be?
You'd do special things for your wife,
you'd show up at her work, you'd give her little special calls,
- you'd leave little notes. - Shock and awe?
Shock and awe!
- Surprise them? - Exactly. Surprise them with something.
- Caress your woman, caress your woman! - Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm practicing my caress. Don't be a baby about it.
Admire your wives. All right?
I don't mean just admire them with your eyes,
admire them with, with, with everything, with your energy,
your ability to listen to them.
You know how much a girl gets turned on if you're really listening to her?
You gotta be part of your wife's life, you know?
You gotta be there. You have to... You know, to put it very simply,
you have to just show up.
Show up? Show up where? Where we going, the Copacabana? Where are we going?
- Wherever she is. - No.
No, Lianne is like a cracked-out humming bird.
It's exhausting just thinking about this.
Remember how funny you used to be?
Like that. That sense of humor? Bring that into your relationship, man.
Women love a guy with a sense of humor.
Funny gets you laid.
yourself - сам
women - женщины
wives - жены
whole - все
wherever - где бы
learned - научился
ignores - игнорируемых
complaints - жалобы
humming - гудящий
everything - все
every - каждый
coming - приход
eating - принимать пищу
guacamole - гуакамоле
gonna - собирается
going - собирается
bring - приносить
exactly - в точку
sebaceous - сальный
calls - звонки
lianne - lianne
leave - оставлять
spontaneous - спонтанный
listening - прослушивание
understand - понимаю
growing - рост
because - потому как
wearing - носить
anyone - кто угодно
apply - подать заявление
single - один
those - те
three - три
basically - в основном
attacks - нападки
connection - соединение
little - немного
ability - способность
really - действительно
married - в браке
admire - восхищаться
stars - Звезды
heard - услышанным
panic - паника
after - после
funny - веселая
gotta - должен
humor - юмор
listen - слушать
exhausting - изнурительный
cable - кабель
notes - заметки
about - около
energy - энергия
metal - металл
beautiful - красивая
marty - marty
cracked - треснувший
comes - выходит
there - там
copacabana - Copacabana
family - семья
connect - [object Object]
looking - ищу
woman - женщина
saying - поговорка
looks - выглядит
manhood - мужественность
hired - наемный
mushrooms - грибы
mexican - мексиканец
muscular - мускулистый
things - вещи
customers - клиенты
practicing - практикующий
sometimes - иногда
remember - запомнить
right - правильно
caress - ласка
sense - смысл
where - где
shock - шок
simply - просто
smell - запах
relationship - отношения
sombreros - сомбреро
shirts - рубашки
being - являющийся
something - что нибудь
starting - начало
fucked - трахал
special - особый
strangers - незнакомцы
surprise - сюрприз
taste - вкус
telemundo - Telemundo
doing - дела
thank - спасибо
thinking - мышление
threatening - угрожающий
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