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Comedy
Going the Distance - The Mustache Time Machine

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Going the Distance - The Mustache Time Machine (Tr)

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Kategori: Comedy

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Video İhbar Et

Mevcut değil Yanlış altyazılar Kötü içerik Diğer

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çalışılacak sözcükler

Can I please get the garbage omelet, double meat, home fries...

and how about everything bagel...

...with butter, cream cheese, jelly, all that shit.

And then, you know what? I'll take a chocolate shake.

And I will make it very easy for you.

- You know, I'll have that same exact thing. - Okay.

- I'll just have the turkey burger. - Okay.

Is there a way to just wrap it in lettuce, like use lettuce as if the bun?

- We can do no bun. Does that work? - No bun. Yeah.

Fries or salad?

Uh, I'll get the salad with dressing on the side.

- Yep, coming up. - Thank you.

Wow! - What?

- That's like... you're eating like a bird there, huh? - No.

He's visiting Erin for Thanksgiving and worrying about his weight.

- All right. - Jesus. - I told you not to say anything.

We haven't seen each other in a while, okay? So...

Okay, I get that. I understand. That makes sense to me.

- Wanna tighten up. - I get you, I get you.

I mean, If you're so worried about your appearance,

are you gonna do something about your veiny, white skin? Mm.

'Cause right now you look like an actor in a kabuki troupe.

- You're really want to talk about appearances. - How so?

No offense, but with the moustache...

- What? You don't like it? - It's disgusting.

I don't care what you think about this. This is not for you.

Who's it for, the ྏ Yankees bullpen?

Very funny.

No, I'm actually trying to scratch a very specific demographic off my fuck-it list.

What's a fuck-it list?

He's got this list, it's like a bucket list...

but it's all the women he's trying to bang before he dies.

So, what kind of women are you hoping to attract with your moustache?

Older women, between 45 and 60.

Oh, so, cougars.

- This is where it's weird. - No. No, not cougars.

Okay, see, cougars, to me, are sad, desperate

older women that want to be young now.

Okay? But what I'm looking for are older attractive women...

that want to be young again. All right?

See, when women see me with a moustache of that type...

they're transported back to a time when the moustache was king:

- The '70s, the early '80s. - Right.

All right? The era of their sexual awakening.

So then, when I'm on top of them, and they look up at me...

they see this person, they're transported back to that time.

All right? See, this isn't a moustache, it's a time machine.

It's a time machine to the back of Burt Reynolds' Camaro.

Right. You know what, it's... - Bottom line is, dude, don't get a moustache, get a tan.

I don't think she's that kind of girl.

I just don't think she's that superficial. - Really?

Okay, so she won't bang fat dudes...

but she will sleep with a guy who has skin

that looks like his face is covered in jizz?

Bro, If she's gonna dump you for eating too many carbs...

she's definitely gonna dump you for not having a tan.

That's true.

All right, I get the point.

Daha fazla göster

yankees - yankiler

worried - endişeli

white - beyaz

weight - ağırlık

wanna - istiyorum

visiting - ziyaret

trying - çalışıyor

think - düşünmek

while - süre

their - onların

thanksgiving - şükran Günü

thing - şey

superficial - yüzeysel

worrying - endişe verici

transported - taşınan

something - bir şey

shake - sallamak

weird - tuhaf

sense - duyu

scratch - çizik

right - Sağ

really - gerçekten mi

salad - salata

point - puan

person - kişi

omelet - omlet

offense - suç

makes - markaları

looking - seyir

sexual - cinsel

older - daha eski

lettuce - marul

butter - tereyağı

covered - kapalı

burger - Burger

dressing - pansuman

early - Erken

looks - görünüyor

exact - kesin

where - nerede

bullpen - yedek kulübesi

actor - aktör

there - Orada

bucket - kova

carbs - karbonhidrat

bottom - alt

chocolate - çikolata

before - önce

demographic - demografik

actually - aslında

appearance - görünüm

please - lütfen

between - arasında

veiny - damarlı

bagel - simit

garbage - çöp

cheese - Peynir

jesus - isa

other - diğer

about - hakkında

attractive - çekici

understand - anlama

appearances - görünüşe

sleep - uyku

gonna - olacak

thank - teşekkür

anything - her şey

camaro - camaro

women - kadınlar

double - Çift

young - genç

awakening - uyanış

disgusting - iğrenç

turkey - Türkiye

troupe - trup

moustache - bıyık

cougars - cougar

again - Tekrar

cream - krem

specific - özel

hoping - umut

definitely - Kesinlikle

machine - makine

fries - patates

desperate - umutsuz

eating - yemek yiyor

attract - çekmek

kabuki - kabuki

jelly - jöle

coming - gelecek

everything - her şey

dudes - ahbaplar

funny - komik

tighten - sıkmak

having - sahip olan

Daha fazla göster

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