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I like to start by saying that every marriage is savable.
You just need two people who are willing to work at it. Okay?
Mike, Amy, I want you to look at each other
and say three things that you like about each other.
- Can I go second? - Okay. Yeah, sure.
Okay, Mike, I like that you gave me my children.
I like that you pick them up from school sometimes.
It's actually really helpful.
And... I... I like that you came to therapy today.
- Okay, Mike. Your turn. - Okay.
I like your spaghetti.
And you make pretty good calzone.
Was that three?
That was like one and then 1A.
You know what? Um... Let's try some role playing.
All right, Amy, I want you to pretend to be Mike,
and Mike, I want you to pretend to be Amy.
Okay? And now I just want you to just tell me about your day.
Hi, I'm Amy.
All I did today was, like, rub lotion on my face
and talk, talk, talk, talk.
- Amy, would you like to... - Yes, I would!
Hey, I'm Mike.
My life is awesome
because my wife takes care of everything in the world for me.
This is the problem! Here's the bottom line!
She's a perfectionist.
So what's the point of even trying?
How is that a problem?
since my birthday five years ago!
Hold on one second!
You want a blowie?
Maybe if you cleaned the kitchen, made the kids dinner,
cared for someone other than yourself,
I would give you so many blowies
your fuckin' dick would explode.
My dick would never explode 'cause it's indestructible.
Oh, my God, I can't deal with you! I can't fucking look at you.
I don't love you anymore.
I'm so sorry, but I just don't.
I'm so sick and tired of pretending like I do.
That is exactly how I feel.
Okay... Remember when I said that all marriages are savable?
Well, it ain't gonna happen for you guys.
So what do you think we should do?
Well, as a therapist, I'm not allowed to tell you what to do,
but as a human being with two fuckin' eyes in my head,
yeah, I think you should get divorced as soon as possible.
This is catastrophic shit.
yourself
years
willing
tired
three
think
sorry
sometimes
someone
since
should
today
second
saying
savable
right
would
exactly
explode
anymore
trying
divorced
really
remember
dinner
spaghetti
children
start
problem
allowed
cleaned
fucking
actually
happen
pretending
pretty
blowie
gonna
calzone
awesome
being
maybe
perfectionist
therapist
point
therapy
blowies
helpful
cared
human
world
kitchen
lotion
marriage
school
marriages
catastrophic
never
about
other
things
bottom
indestructible
people
playing
takes
possible
everything
every
because
birthday
pretend
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