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Good morning. Can I take your order?
Can I get a tall chai?
And a large black coffee.
A what?
Large black coffee.
Do you mean a venti?
No, I mean a large.
He means a venti. Yeah, the biggest one you've got.
Venti is large.
No. Venti is 20.
Yeah. "Large" is large. In fact, "tall" is large.
And grande is Spanish for large.
Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large.
It's also the only one that's Italian.
Congratulations! You're stupid in three languages.
Look, dick. Venti is a large coffee.
Really? Says who? Fellini?
How much is that? Here's a 10.
Jesus, Dan. You know what they call the sizes here.
You know what, you've been picking fights with everybody.
- The girl at the party... - She said ASAP.
ASAP, I'm sorry. Huge crime.
It's like "24/7" or "been there, done that." You hate that, too.
I don't hate it enough to let it ruin my day.
It's getting worse. You know, man? The sun is shining,
but you have lost the ability to take any joy in life.
I can't stand it anymore!
You're just a miserable dick now!
You're mean to everybody!
And, FYI, it's called a venti because it's 20 ounces!
20! Venti!
She says I take no joy in life.
I can see that.
I gotta talk to her.
Forget her, man.
Let me give you a little motto I live my life by,
you got to hit it and quit it.
No ties, tangle free.
Nobody tells me what to do. I go bang, bang, bang the drum.
That's not a motto.
That's just you saying a bunch of things.
You know, Beth's right. I'm a dick.
Hey, I'm... I'm in a rut, just going from school to school
selling poison to our nation's youth.
It's not poison. It's got juice in it.
You know, I'm 35 years old.
I got nothing to show for my life.
I figured I'd be something,
something good, a professor, engineer. I don't know.
Figured I'd be married. I'd...
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