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My parents had gone away for the weekend and...
We each did about eight shots of vodka, and then we did it.
Then we threw up about ten minutes after that, so...
First time I had sex, I was actually, you know, pretty young -- 15.
And she was a freshman in college. And it just kinda happened.
I was hanging out with my friends in the parking lot...
in front of the A&P, just drinkin' some beers.
She kind of pulled into the parking lot in her dad's new Cadillac.
It was pretty cool 'cause, you know, I had never been in a Cadillac before.
I was a late bloomer.
I was like my junior year at college.
And I lost it to the woman I eventually married, Maria.
I really only had, had sex with, with one woman up until that point
and that's probably why I got, I got divorced.
I was only sixteen...
and he was much older.
He worked with my mother. My parents got divorced when I was nine.
And he used to come over to the house for dinners and parties and things.
But then he started coming over when he knew that my mom wouldn't be home.
And then just one thing kinda led to another.
And before I even knew what was happening...
I was having my first affair with a married man.
When I first had sex? My dad drove me down...
from our apartment in the Bronx, where we lived.
And he took me down to the Upper East Side to some high-class whorehouse.
And she said her name was Cherry Pie.
I always liked that name-- Cherry Pie.
Let's just say I have a very clear image of her in my mental file.
He was the sweetest guy. We went to high school together.
But I wanted to do it before my 18th birthday.
So we went to this bed-and-breakfast in Saratoga...
and, you know, we just made love for three straight days.
And then, you know, we went off to college and promised to be faithful.
And then what happened?
Well, I was faithful for the first semester...
and he came back after Christmas break and then told me he was gay.
So I guess he was a little sweeter than I would've liked.
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