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- Uncle Buck
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Uncle Buck - Moley Russel's Wart
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I'm Anita Hoargarth.
Buck Melanoma,
Moley Russell's wart.
Not her wart.
I'm the wart.
She's my tumor, my... my growth,
my... my pimple. I'm "Uncle Wart."
Just old Buck "Wart" Russell,
that's what they call me.
Or Melanoma Head.
They'll call me that.
"Melanoma Head's" coming.
I'm sor-- Uncle, Maizy Russell's uncle.
I'm her uncle.
Her mother set up
this conference with you.
I'm assistant principal here...
as you've probably noticed
from the indications on the door.
- This door?
- The outer door!
- The outer door.
- Yes.
'Cause there's
nothing on this one.
That's just about enough of that.
I've been an educator
for 31.3 years...
and in that time,
I've seen a lot of bad eggs.
I say "eggs" because
at the elementary level...
we are not dealing
with fully-developed individuals.
I see a bad egg
when I look at your niece.
She is a twiddler, a dreamer...
a silly heart.
She is a jabberbox.
And, frankly...
I don't think she takes a thing...
in her life or her career
as a student seriously.
She's only six.
That is not a valid excuse!
I hear that every day and I dismiss it.
I don't think I want
to know a six-year-old
who isn't a dreamer
or a silly heart.
And I sure don't want to know one who
takes their student career seriously.
I don't have a college degree.
I don't even have a job.
Does anyone have a special
story to tell the class
about something
that happened this week?
My uncle was microwaving my socks...
and the dog threw up on the couch
for about an hour.
- Honest?
- Yes.
Why was your uncle
microwaving your socks?
He can't get the goddamn
washing machine to work.
Blasphemer!
But I know a good kid when I see one.
Because they're all good kids...
until dried-out, brain-dead skags
like you...
drag them down and convince them
they're no good.
You so much as scowl at my niece
or any other kid in this school...
and I hear about it,
I'm coming looking for you.
Take this quarter.
Go downtown...
and have a rat gnaw that thing
off your face.
washing
valid
until
uncle
twiddler
tumor
threw
think
student
story
socks
skags
seriously
scowl
russell
quarter
probably
school
principal
pimple
noticed
thing
nothing
dreamer
special
silly
downtown
something
developed
happened
educator
degree
enough
growth
niece
convince
conference
takes
brain
their
anyone
other
about
looking
frankly
hoargarth
microwaving
blasphemer
mother
dismiss
dealing
maizy
career
dried
assistant
college
couch
elementary
indications
coming
because
every
excuse
melanoma
years
class
fully
heart
anita
goddamn
honest
individuals
outer
jabberbox
level
machine
moley
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