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Comedy
Going the Distance - The Mustache Time Machine

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Going the Distance - The Mustache Time Machine (It)

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1Guarda il video Inizia l'esercizio

Categoria: Comedy

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sceneggiatura video

parole da studiare

Can I please get the garbage omelet, double meat, home fries...

and how about everything bagel...

...with butter, cream cheese, jelly, all that shit.

And then, you know what? I'll take a chocolate shake.

And I will make it very easy for you.

- You know, I'll have that same exact thing. - Okay.

- I'll just have the turkey burger. - Okay.

Is there a way to just wrap it in lettuce, like use lettuce as if the bun?

- We can do no bun. Does that work? - No bun. Yeah.

Fries or salad?

Uh, I'll get the salad with dressing on the side.

- Yep, coming up. - Thank you.

Wow! - What?

- That's like... you're eating like a bird there, huh? - No.

He's visiting Erin for Thanksgiving and worrying about his weight.

- All right. - Jesus. - I told you not to say anything.

We haven't seen each other in a while, okay? So...

Okay, I get that. I understand. That makes sense to me.

- Wanna tighten up. - I get you, I get you.

I mean, If you're so worried about your appearance,

are you gonna do something about your veiny, white skin? Mm.

'Cause right now you look like an actor in a kabuki troupe.

- You're really want to talk about appearances. - How so?

No offense, but with the moustache...

- What? You don't like it? - It's disgusting.

I don't care what you think about this. This is not for you.

Who's it for, the ྏ Yankees bullpen?

Very funny.

No, I'm actually trying to scratch a very specific demographic off my fuck-it list.

What's a fuck-it list?

He's got this list, it's like a bucket list...

but it's all the women he's trying to bang before he dies.

So, what kind of women are you hoping to attract with your moustache?

Older women, between 45 and 60.

Oh, so, cougars.

- This is where it's weird. - No. No, not cougars.

Okay, see, cougars, to me, are sad, desperate

older women that want to be young now.

Okay? But what I'm looking for are older attractive women...

that want to be young again. All right?

See, when women see me with a moustache of that type...

they're transported back to a time when the moustache was king:

- The '70s, the early '80s. - Right.

All right? The era of their sexual awakening.

So then, when I'm on top of them, and they look up at me...

they see this person, they're transported back to that time.

All right? See, this isn't a moustache, it's a time machine.

It's a time machine to the back of Burt Reynolds' Camaro.

Right. You know what, it's... - Bottom line is, dude, don't get a moustache, get a tan.

I don't think she's that kind of girl.

I just don't think she's that superficial. - Really?

Okay, so she won't bang fat dudes...

but she will sleep with a guy who has skin

that looks like his face is covered in jizz?

Bro, If she's gonna dump you for eating too many carbs...

she's definitely gonna dump you for not having a tan.

That's true.

All right, I get the point.

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yankees - yankees

worried - preoccupato

white - bianca

weight - peso

wanna - voglio

visiting - visitare

trying - provare

think - pensare

while - mentre

their - loro

thanksgiving - ringraziamento

thing - cosa

superficial - superficiale

worrying - preoccupante

transported - trasportato

something - qualcosa

shake - scuotere

weird - strano

sense - senso

scratch - graffiare

right - destra

really - veramente

salad - insalata

point - punto

person - persona

omelet - frittata

offense - offesa

makes - fa

looking - analizzare, cercare, guardare

sexual - sessuale

older - più vecchio

lettuce - lattuga

butter - burro

covered - coperto

burger - hamburger

dressing - condimento

early - presto

looks - sembra

exact - esatto

where - dove

bullpen - bullpen

actor - attore

there - là

bucket - secchio

carbs - carboidrati

bottom - parte inferiore

chocolate - cioccolato

before - prima

demographic - demografico

actually - in realtà

appearance - aspetto

please - per favore

between - fra

veiny - veiny

bagel - bagel

garbage - spazzatura

cheese - formaggio

jesus - Gesù

other - altro

about - di

attractive - attraente

understand - capire

appearances - apparenze

sleep - dormire

gonna - andando

thank - ringraziare

anything - qualsiasi cosa

camaro - camaro

women - donne

double - raddoppiare

young - giovane

awakening - risveglio

disgusting - disgustoso

turkey - tacchino

troupe - compagnia teatrale

moustache - baffi

cougars - cougars

again - ancora

cream - crema

specific - specifica

hoping - sperando

definitely - decisamente

machine - macchina

fries - patatine fritte

desperate - disperato

eating - mangiare

attract - attirare

kabuki - kabuki

jelly - gelatina

coming - venuta

everything - qualunque cosa

dudes - tizi

funny - divertente

tighten - serrare

having - avendo

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