Exercícios
Comedy
My Man Is a Loser

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Instruções de vídeo

My Man Is a Loser - The Fix (Pt)

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Categoria: Comedy

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Indisponível Legendas incorretas Conteúdo ofensivo Outros

script de vídeo

palavras para memorizar

Guys, I heard all about what's going on.

We are gonna work this out.

You know, I, I've yet to meet anyone who ignores customers more than this one.

We are all on the same team here.

If you need me, I'll be three feet away.

- Thank you. - All right, give it to me.

- Give it to me. What have you got? - It's not good.

I don't feel good. My panic attacks are coming back.

I'm starting to taste metal, and I have a sebaceous cyst

growing in the back of my head.

And my wife is threatening to fuck every pool boy we ever hired.

Lianne is not going to fuck the pool boy.

Have you seen my guy? He basically said "Fuck shirts."

He is a good-looking, muscular guy.

He looks like one of those Telemundo soap stars.

I don't know why you hire guys like that.

I'm not saying that...

What are the top complaints from your wives?

Top five or top 10?

What does she not like? What does she say?

Like me. She doesn't like me.

She says I smell like mushrooms sometimes.

All right, guys, I know I fucked up, but I'm gonna make this right. Okay?

I got the fix. You listening?

- Yeah. - Here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take things I've learned in my single life

and help you apply them to your married life.

Yeah, but how long is something like this gonna take?

I don't know, a week?

No, no, Lianne's gonna be married to Jose Jr. by then.

She's gonna have a whole Mexican family with little kids wearing sombreros,

doing the cha-cha-cha, eating guacamole dip.

- Marty! - What?

How are you going to take what you learned in your single life

and have us apply it to our married life?

You have sex with beautiful strangers, and...

we make waffles at 7:00 a.m.

Because everything I say, everything I do when it comes to women

is about connection. You understand?

You, my boys, have lost your ability to connect with your wives.

You're right, you know, I can't even connect the cable!

I hate my life.

You won't hate yourself after I'm done with you

because I'm gonna bring back everything you lost.

- What, like my manhood? - No!

Like, like being spontaneous.

Remember how spontaneous you guys used to be?

You'd do special things for your wife,

you'd show up at her work, you'd give her little special calls,

- you'd leave little notes. - Shock and awe?

Shock and awe!

- Surprise them? - Exactly. Surprise them with something.

- Caress your woman, caress your woman! - Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm practicing my caress. Don't be a baby about it.

Admire your wives. All right?

I don't mean just admire them with your eyes,

admire them with, with, with everything, with your energy,

your ability to listen to them.

You know how much a girl gets turned on if you're really listening to her?

You gotta be part of your wife's life, you know?

You gotta be there. You have to... You know, to put it very simply,

you have to just show up.

Show up? Show up where? Where we going, the Copacabana? Where are we going?

- Wherever she is. - No.

No, Lianne is like a cracked-out humming bird.

It's exhausting just thinking about this.

Remember how funny you used to be?

Like that. That sense of humor? Bring that into your relationship, man.

Women love a guy with a sense of humor.

Funny gets you laid.

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yourself - você mesmo

women - mulheres

wives - esposas

whole - todo

wherever - onde quer que

learned - aprendido

ignores - ignora

complaints - reclamações

humming - zumbido

everything - tudo

every - cada

coming - chegando

eating - comendo

guacamole - guacamole

gonna - vai

going - indo

bring - trazer

exactly - exatamente

sebaceous - sebáceo

calls - chamadas

lianne - lianne

leave - sair

spontaneous - espontâneo

listening - ouvindo

understand - compreendo

growing - crescendo

because - porque

wearing - vestindo

anyone - alguém

apply - aplique

single - solteiro

those - essa

three - três

basically - basicamente

attacks - ataques

connection - conexão

little - pequeno

ability - habilidade

really - realmente

married - casado

admire - admirar

stars - estrelas

heard - ouviu

panic - pânico

after - depois de

funny - engraçado

gotta - tenho que

humor - humor

listen - ouço

exhausting - cansativo

cable - cabo

notes - notas

about - sobre

energy - energia

metal - metal

beautiful - bonita

marty - marty

cracked - rachado

comes - vem

there - há

copacabana - copacabana

family - família

connect - conectar

looking - olhando

woman - Mulher

saying - dizendo

looks - parece

manhood - masculinidade

hired - contratado

mushrooms - cogumelos

mexican - mexicano

muscular - muscular

things - coisas

customers - clientes

practicing - praticando

sometimes - as vezes

remember - lembrar

right - certo

caress - carícia

sense - sentido

where - onde

shock - choque

simply - simplesmente

smell - cheiro

relationship - relação

sombreros - sombreros

shirts - camisas

being - ser

something - alguma coisa

starting - iniciando

fucked - fodido

special - especial

strangers - estranhos

surprise - surpresa

taste - gosto

telemundo - telemundo

doing - fazendo

thank - obrigado

thinking - pensando

threatening - ameaçador

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