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Did Peter have any good friends growing up?
I honestly don't remember any.
All right, look, Zooey, just to clarify here,
my dad worked for IBM, so we moved a lot when I was a kid.
Robbie always managed to have friends.
Of course, he probably wanted to suck their dicks, but...
No, Mom, it's cool. I totally did.
But he doesn't have to use that kind of language.
- Indeed. - Why?
My son is a gay man, and I embrace his lifestyle.
It's true. Dad loves the gays.
I actually made him an honorary homo last month.
The point is, Zooey, Peter always connected better with women.
You know, I can see that because he's a great boyfriend.
Thank you, fiancee.
Also, you gotta understand, Zooey.
Peter matured sexually at a very early age.
I remember taking him swimming when he was 12 years old.
Kid had a bush like a 40-year-old Serbian.
Come on. Okay. Dad, please, stop talking.
- Good to know. - Nice.
Come on. He had a Speedo full of Brillo. Be proud.
Who invited the stand-up comedian over here?
Zooey, here's the deal. Peter's always been a "girlfriend guy."
He put all his focus and energy into his relationships,
and all his dude friends just fell by the wayside.
Zooey, don't listen to him, all right? I mean, he's... we're eight years apart.
Barely grew up together in the same house.
This is ridiculous. Why is it weird that I had girlfriends?
Nothing. We're just saying you never really had a best friend, is all.
- Well, who's your best friend? - I have two.
Hank Mardukas has been my closest friend
since our first year at IBM.
Best man at our wedding.
Talk to him two, three times a week on the phone for 30 years now.
And then there's Robbie.
What's up?
- Robbie is your other best friend? - Correct. And Hank Mardukas.
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