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- Dad? - Where is he?
- What are you doing here? - Chad?
Hey, Chad, you motherfucker. - Oh my God!
Are you kidding me?
Did he make you do something you don't want to do?
'Cause I don't care if he's the fucking coolest kid in school.
I'm gonna shove his fedora so far up his ass, it'll be a hat.
No, Dad, we didn't do it.
All right? And even if we did,
it would be none of your business.
It's just, I was worried about you.
Well, that's a first.
I deserve that.
Sam, I gotta tell you something,
and I'm just gonna say it.
Sam, I have realized over the last few years...
...that I have made a big mistake in my life.
What, like cheating on my mom?
Well, no. Marrying your mom.
But no, that... that wasn't a mistake,
because then I wouldn't have had you.
I've made lots of mistakes, but th-the big mistake...
is that I let what happened between your mom and I
get in the way of our relationship.
I'm sorry.
And I hope that we can start over and...
build up our relationship again because...
you're my only kid.
And I'm your only dad.
Well, Frank is... - Fuck Frank.
Frank's fine.
Dad, can I tell you something now? - Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, anything.
I'm a lesbian.
Give me your hand.
What does your mom think?
She doesn't know.
You told me before you told your mom?
- Yeah. - That's big news.
She doesn't know?
- You didn't tell Frank? - No.
Okay. Over.
Crying is over.
What do your girlfriends think?
No, I'm too nervous. I can't tell them.
You're nervous to tell Kayla and Julie?
It's just... I don't want to lose my two best friends.
This is the stuff you tell the people you care about.
You think they're not gonna support you because you're gay?
They would support you if you were a vampire.
They would support you more.
With all the Twilight shit.
- Do we still like Twilight? - Definitely not. - No, no.
Oh, God.
Thanks for showing up.
Really.
But you should probably leave
because it's insane that you even came here in the first place.
I'd love to get a picture with you. - Yeah.
Great. Okay.
Just gonna stand on this. - Yeah, you know... you know the drill.
Come on. Come on. Here we go.
Gotta turn it around here.
Dad, you're not taking it.
It's...
What?
I'll remember this.
Come on. Oh, my God.
would
where
vampire
think
taking
support
stuff
still
start
stand
something
showing
school
fucking
years
around
thanks
friends
drill
doing
build
deserve
again
should
definitely
crying
coolest
really
remember
twilight
about
between
right
frank
business
place
anything
happened
because
mistakes
cheating
before
people
fedora
gonna
lesbian
worried
gotta
picture
great
kidding
insane
girlfriends
mistake
sorry
shove
kayla
motherfucker
marrying
relationship
julie
nervous
leave
probably
first
realized
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