Exercises
Comedy
My Man Is a Loser

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Video instruction

My Man Is a Loser - The Fix

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1Watch the video Start the exercise

Category: Comedy

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video script

words to study

Guys, I heard all about what's going on.

We are gonna work this out.

You know, I, I've yet to meet anyone who ignores customers more than this one.

We are all on the same team here.

If you need me, I'll be three feet away.

- Thank you. - All right, give it to me.

- Give it to me. What have you got? - It's not good.

I don't feel good. My panic attacks are coming back.

I'm starting to taste metal, and I have a sebaceous cyst

growing in the back of my head.

And my wife is threatening to fuck every pool boy we ever hired.

Lianne is not going to fuck the pool boy.

Have you seen my guy? He basically said "Fuck shirts."

He is a good-looking, muscular guy.

He looks like one of those Telemundo soap stars.

I don't know why you hire guys like that.

I'm not saying that...

What are the top complaints from your wives?

Top five or top 10?

What does she not like? What does she say?

Like me. She doesn't like me.

She says I smell like mushrooms sometimes.

All right, guys, I know I fucked up, but I'm gonna make this right. Okay?

I got the fix. You listening?

- Yeah. - Here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take things I've learned in my single life

and help you apply them to your married life.

Yeah, but how long is something like this gonna take?

I don't know, a week?

No, no, Lianne's gonna be married to Jose Jr. by then.

She's gonna have a whole Mexican family with little kids wearing sombreros,

doing the cha-cha-cha, eating guacamole dip.

- Marty! - What?

How are you going to take what you learned in your single life

and have us apply it to our married life?

You have sex with beautiful strangers, and...

we make waffles at 7:00 a.m.

Because everything I say, everything I do when it comes to women

is about connection. You understand?

You, my boys, have lost your ability to connect with your wives.

You're right, you know, I can't even connect the cable!

I hate my life.

You won't hate yourself after I'm done with you

because I'm gonna bring back everything you lost.

- What, like my manhood? - No!

Like, like being spontaneous.

Remember how spontaneous you guys used to be?

You'd do special things for your wife,

you'd show up at her work, you'd give her little special calls,

- you'd leave little notes. - Shock and awe?

Shock and awe!

- Surprise them? - Exactly. Surprise them with something.

- Caress your woman, caress your woman! - Yeah.

What are you doing?

I'm practicing my caress. Don't be a baby about it.

Admire your wives. All right?

I don't mean just admire them with your eyes,

admire them with, with, with everything, with your energy,

your ability to listen to them.

You know how much a girl gets turned on if you're really listening to her?

You gotta be part of your wife's life, you know?

You gotta be there. You have to... You know, to put it very simply,

you have to just show up.

Show up? Show up where? Where we going, the Copacabana? Where are we going?

- Wherever she is. - No.

No, Lianne is like a cracked-out humming bird.

It's exhausting just thinking about this.

Remember how funny you used to be?

Like that. That sense of humor? Bring that into your relationship, man.

Women love a guy with a sense of humor.

Funny gets you laid.

yourself

women

wives

whole

wherever

learned

ignores

complaints

humming

everything

every

coming

eating

guacamole

gonna

going

bring

exactly

sebaceous

calls

lianne

leave

spontaneous

listening

understand

growing

because

wearing

anyone

apply

single

those

three

basically

attacks

connection

little

ability

really

married

admire

stars

heard

panic

after

funny

gotta

humor

listen

exhausting

cable

notes

about

energy

metal

beautiful

marty

cracked

comes

there

copacabana

family

connect

looking

woman

saying

looks

manhood

hired

mushrooms

mexican

muscular

things

customers

practicing

sometimes

remember

right

caress

sense

where

shock

simply

smell

relationship

sombreros

shirts

being

something

starting

fucked

special

strangers

surprise

taste

telemundo

doing

thank

thinking

threatening

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My Man Is a Loser - The Fix

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