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Trainwreck

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Trainwreck - I Scored on LeBron James (Pl)

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I mean, I really, really like her, but...

she's-- she's got some issues, you know?

- I mean, that's gonna happen. - Yeah.

- It's like, last night we went out drinking, and, like - You? - Yeah, I went out drinking.

And she, uh-- And, uh-- We, uh--

You know, I don't drink. I got hammered.

And then she drank a lot, but she didn't - Barely got-

But she didn't get drunk at all.

She's-

- So how's the sex? - The sex?

Why do you always wanna know this stuff, man?

Listen, I'm a married man. Uh-huh.

I need to live vicariously through you.

- Just give me a couple of details. - No.

- Just like 11. - Eleven details?

When you're married as long as me, you'll understand.

She knows what she wants. It's great.

The sex is great. It's rough. It's wild.

I mean, if it's not wild, it's not right.

Right. But no, it's crazy.

Like pulling my hair and stuff and...

We've never-- We haven't even laid down yet.

Always either, like, sitting up or against a wall or something.

- I've never been on top once. - Oh.

- We have a safe word. - Already?

- Yeah. It's "calypso." - Man, it's pretty early for a safe word.

- It is. - Wow - Second date, we had a safe word.

It's insane, man.

You ready for this? Come on, man.

- I've been practicing. - Man, knock it off.

Ready for this?

- Yeah! Oh. It's foul. - Foul?

- Yeah, man. You hit me. - No.

- You use protection, right? - Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, she's got little bowls of condoms all around her apartment.

- Condoms? - Yeah.

It's not about condoms. I's more, like, protection, like a lawyer.

- Like a nondisclosure agreement, you know?

No penetration without representation.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

- Wh-- What happened? - Nothing, man.

Listen, I'll tell you one thing.

You don't wanna have a baby mama. Yeah? Next thing, you're paying for a Ferrari.

- Yeah. - You getting her a big house, a big mansion.

She's gonna want to start a jumpsuit line.

And you gonna have to pay for it. You wanna go through that?

You gotta convince one of your friends to say he's the dad and raise the child.

Like, who wants to go through that? Kid end up being 6'7", and your best friend only 5'2".

Eighteen years later, the kid comes and he writes a book about you saying how much of a jackass you are.

Yeah. Eighteen years, man. Eighteen years.

Your baby mama's car and crib is bigger than his.

You could turn on the TV any given Sunday.

Win the Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai.

She was supposed to get the shorty Tyco with your money.

Then she went to the doctor, got lipo with your money.

What are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about?

- It's Kanye. - You're quoting Kanye West to me?

You know what? Amy's not like that.

Amy's not like that at all. She's awesome.

And this is gonna be great.

- And I think she's cool, and I don't have to worry about that, you know. - All right.

Oh! Did you let me do that?

Did I just score on you?

Yes! You are my bitch, LeBron James!

But not really. Not really.

You gotta admit, that was a good shot though. Come on, man.

I scored on LeBron James. I'm never playing basketball again.

Lunch is on you, buddy!

Where you going, Aaron? Whoo!

Aaron!

LeBron.

Whoo!

Goddamn it!

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years - lat

writes - pisze

without - bez

vicariously - zastępczo

think - myśleć

talking - mówić

supposed - domniemany

super - wspaniały

sunday - niedziela

goddamn - przeklęty

ready - gotowy

basketball - koszykówka

either - zarówno

details - detale

crazy - zwariowany

wanna - chcę

start - początek

could - mógłby

scored - strzelił

couple - para

gonna - gonna

practicing - praktykujący

already - już

given - dany

drinking - picie

drive - Napęd

quoting - cytując

going - chodzenie

lebron - Lebron

early - wcześnie

awesome - niesamowite

lunch - lunch

nothing - nic

aaron - aaron

about - o

comes - pochodzi

hyundai - hyundai

getting - coraz

second - druga

eighteen - osiemnaście

against - przeciwko

buddy - kumpel

always - zawsze

friends - przyjaciele

drunk - pijany

admit - przyznać

again - jeszcze raz

drank - pił

gotta - musieć

penetration - penetracja

child - dziecko

doctor - lekarz

barely - ledwo

happened - stało się

calypso - calypso

drink - drink

around - na około

wants - chce

pulling - ciągnąc

apartment - apartament

bitch - suka

bowls - kręgle

knows - wie

though - chociaż

condoms - prezerwatywy

little - mało

where - gdzie

bigger - większe

great - wspaniały

house - dom

insane - szalony

worry - martwić się

issues - problemy

listen - słuchać

agreement - Umowa

representation - reprezentacja

jackass - osioł

sitting - posiedzenie

kanye - Kanye

mansion - dwór

knock - pukanie

later - później

money - pieniądze

understand - zrozumieć

never - nigdy

raise - podnieść

hammered - młotkiem

night - noc

protection - ochrona

nondisclosure - nieujawnianie

through - przez

paying - intratny

thing - rzecz

playing - gra

friend - przyjaciel

pretty - ładny

married - żonaty

really - naprawdę

convince - przekonać

james - james

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